A letter to Grief

Linking up with Kate Motaung here.

Kate, I’m sorry to cry off, but it’s not going to happen tonight. I know I said I’d join the linkup with some thoughts and words on grief, but I’m shattered, overwhelmed and – it seems – going down with a migraine.

I was all up for it this morning, til… well, something happened, and it all came back.  Then today’s been a day of ‘making it through’, being strong again carrying a heavy weight on my heart.  Trying to find that light heart and unusual joy I had yesterday.

Maybe the joy’s still there somewhere, but it’s buried deep.  Today it’s under a blanket of exhaustion, and bound tight in anger and resentment.  I’m just fed up that the sorrow and anxiety is back.  It came, again, unexpected and unbidden.  Just when we were getting ready to party.  Soul-sucking joy-stealer.  I hate it, this Grief, and I’m just angry, angry, angry it gatecrashed my Christmas again.

And I’m exhausted.

And need to go to bed, after a bite to eat if I can stomach it.

So… crying off, sort of.

Thanks for inviting me to join you, anyway…

4 thoughts on “A letter to Grief

  1. So very sorry for your ongoing struggle, Ruth. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability, even and especially when it hurts the most. If it makes you feel any better, I had a good cry last night and this morning, too. Grief sure does come at inopportune and unexpected times, and it’s never pleasant. Psalm 23 comes to mind as I type this: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” May the God of all comfort be your source of comfort and strength today and always.

    • Bless you, and I’m sorry you’ve had some bumps in the road too. May the Joy of Jesus overrule today as we remember all he did to bring us his Peace. We have seen ‘small mercies’ pour out over the past couple of days… so not all bad, and I’m now feeling quite a bit better than I did on Monday, thankfully!

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