Some days we just want to hide. It’s as much because we’re hiding from ourselves as from others… [Once again, we’re taking five minutes to join in with the Five Minute Friday #fmfparty gang to write unedited on a theme sent out by Kate Motaung. The word-prompt today is NOTICE.]
(You can join in too – here’s how.)
It’s a brave thing to do, to notice someone. It’s even harder to help them know they’ve been seen. I recently found myself having a hard conversation at work, facing the challenges of being part of a team in flux. The flux had flexed me to breaking point, and someone had noticed.
I didn’t want to face it, not in public. I didn’t want to be seen, to face the realities of how my heart was breaking with all the change, fearing the unknowns of the future, and trying so hard to be trusting. How can anyone try to trust? You either do, or you don’t. I clearly wasn’t trusting God enough.
I was found out. It was hard for the one who found me there, floundering in my feelings, ‘slogging on’ through a work list that at the moment grows longer than shorter every day. The Noticer couldn’t – not yet, or in full – fix the problem. But they were with me in it.
Being noticed, my feelings became more real. Over the subsequent days, the reality of my fears chased me around, and the reality of insufficient answers – from a human source at least – were as scary as I’d feared. No wonder I fled from them.
But I’d been noticed. And God has noticed me, in my floundering. He’s not yet given the answers I need. But I’ve finally found the courage to wait on him for a solution.