Taking five minutes with the Five Minute Friday #fmfparty gang to write unedited on a theme sent out by Lisa-Jo Baker. This week its Nothing.
Sometimes we hit that place in the road where there’s nothing left. We tried everything. We tried to do the right thing, and that didn’t fix it. We tried harder to love. That didn’t fix it. We tried talking it through, and that didn’t make it work. We wrestled and hoped and prayed and pressed on, and looked for a way through the impossible. But came up empty.
We tried the only thing left to us. Dying. Giving it up. Stepping into – no – pushing and pressing and leaning into the empty nothing of just quitting the striving, and letting go. The aching emptiness of being quiet, when more words would only make things worse, and keep the monster of it all alive. The searing questions, Why? and Why not? The pounding possibility of ‘Maybe… if we…’
So we sit here today, in our separate bubbles, embracing the nothingness of what is left. Nothing of me. And nothing of you. The situation has left us speechless, exhausted, spent. And in this cavernous, echoey, terrifying emptiness, there’s nothing to do but yield to the limitations we have both reached. To admit, we are small, unwise, and beaten.
In this nothingness, slowly, and very very quietly, someone fills the space. It is not you. It is not me. It is not our words, our solutions, our energy, our works or our answers. Where there is no other answer, I AM fills the place with mystery and strength. He becomes our answer. He becomes our strength. He becomes our hope for the future, when still we don’t see our way, together or apart. He holds it all – you and me – all things, all people, all time – He holds it together.